The Highest Highs and Lowest Lows
by NatDW
Summary: 'He can't seem to say or do anything, other than stare at her in awe, and follow her through his apartment, his heart pounding in his chest.' Post- Always, possible moments that could occur over their summer together as Castle and Beckett attempt to adjust to their new relationship.
1. Chapter 1

A crash of thunder resounds through the apartment as he pushes her body up against the door, slamming it shut. Hot wet mouths, kisses pressed against damp skin, fingers running through hair. Their rhythm slows, switches to gentle kisses, and she's smiling, noses touching and he can't smile back even though he's happier than he can remember being in a long time because he's just so overwhelmed by the sudden, unexpected arrival of the moment he has been waiting for years. Their fingers lace together as their eyes meet and the slightly nervous bite of her lip contrasts with the way she confidently pulls him towards his bedroom.

He can't seem to say or do anything, other than stare at her in awe, and follow her through his apartment, his heart pounding in his chest. He tightens his grip on her fingers, hoping that the small gesture will communicate to her at least some of the feelings coursing through him. She returns the pressure, lets out a shaky breath. They're almost at the door of his bedroom now, and he can't stop thinking about all the what-if moments there have been between them, and tries in vain to process the fact that this time it's actually happening.

She turns the door handle, quickens her pace, tugging on their intertwined hands. In response, a sudden wave of desperation crashes over him, he pulls his hand away, immediately replacing it onto her body, kissing her hard, tongues dancing together. Her fingers run down his abdomen, and stop at the waistband of his jeans. He begins to trail kisses down her neck as she begins unbuckling his belt. This quickly leads to the removal of the rest of his clothing and he follows her lead, leaving her clothes in a damp pile on the floor. He can't help but swiftly run his eyes down her body, black lace against tanned skin, and he comes to the conclusion that his imagination has not done her justice. He watches Kate observing him, and wonders if she is thinking a similar thought in regards to him. He thinks she might be as her eyes darken and she grabs his hands, placing them on the curve of her hips, cold hands causing goose bumps to prickle across her warm skin.

He growls low and deep in her ear, hitching her legs around his waist, lifting her up so she's wrapped around him. They continue kissing as he moves them both towards the bed, ignoring the crashes of various objects hitting the ground as they bump into furniture. They fall onto the bed together, neither letting go for long and the rest of the night continues with bare skin, laboured breathing, slow moans and whispered names, before reluctantly they succumb to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms.

**A/N: So I'm thinking that the one-shots could develop into an actual plot if I have enough inspiration, but for now this has been sitting on my laptop for a while so I thought I'd post it and see what you guys think, please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

Any evidence of the storm from the night before had seemed to disappear entirely. Instead the sunlight dances through the small crack in the curtains, spilling onto the bed revealing tangled sheets, intertwined legs, Kate's hair hanging in curls over Castle's chest, her fingers touching his. Both of them on the verge of waking, but neither in a rush to for the fear of ruining a perfect night, with a morning-after that they know will be full of questions and uncertainty.

But waking up is inevitable. Her eyelids flutter open, and she is welcomed by the sight of his blue eyes and a smile, and her stomach fills with butterflies. Waking up next to him provides her with the realisation that he is now hers and she is the reason behind that amazing smile of his, and nothing can make her happier because she's tired of hurting him, tired of the secrets that have been tearing them apart for months. She brushes his lips gently with her fingertips, coming to the conclusion that she wants to be the reason for every one of his smiles from now on.

"Good Morning Beckett" his smile now a smirk, his voice rough with sleep, which she has to admit she finds more than a little bit attractive.

She smirks back, biting her lip. "Morning Castle"

He leans in to kiss her and she happily obliges. The kiss is slow and sweet, contrasting from the hot, passionate kisses of the night before. She can't decide which one she prefers, but she knows for sure that every kiss she has had from him has sent a shiver down her spine. She likes how easily they have adapted to this new dynamic in their relationship, especially since she had considered the possibility that it could be awkward at first, and had questioned the risk of their friendship suffering because of it. Instead it just feels incredibly _right,_ and now she is trying extremely hard to ignore the growing feeling that maybe, because of her, they've wasted way too much time; a thought which has been overwhelming her mind since the moment she had arrived at his apartment.

Castle leans over to kiss Kate's forehead, interrupting her train of thought as his eyes trail over her, taking her in as if he's scared he won't get the opportunity to again. It saddens her that he's not completely reassured that she's ready for their relationship, but before she can address his uncertainty, his gaze settles on the angry purple bruises around her ribs.

His fingers gently brush over her skin; he had definitely not noticed the bruises last night. For a moment, a sharp wave of panic hits him. His eyes widen slightly, and he looks at her, horror stricken. As ridiculous as it seems- he couldn't have? She seems to know exactly what he is thinking because she firmly grabs his face, looking into his eyes.

"Of course you didn't"

Relief floods over him, until he notices the angry marks around her throat. She notices the change in his breathing, feels his muscles tense beneath her.

"Tell me what happened yesterday Kate, all of it"

So she does. She tells him about the fight with Maddox, his hands around her throat as she struggled for air, him throwing her off the roof and leaving her there. Castle looks as though he's finding it hard to hear, so she kisses him occasionally, strokes his face, runs her fingers through his hair. She hopes that by reassuring him of her presence, of the fact that she's alive and here with him now, it will bring him some kind of comfort.

"And I was there, and my fingers were slipping and I just kept thinking that it wasn't supposed to happen like that, you weren't with me and I hadn't let you know how I feel, and like I said before, all I could think about was you. I even heard your voice, you were telling me to hold on but when I got pulled up it was Ryan, you weren't there"

She looks up at him, and feels a twinge of regret at his panicked expression. He looks so scared, as if she were still hanging off the roof this second. His arms tighten their grip.

"I'm so sorry Kate, I should have been there, I should have- "

"No Castle" she interrupts "No you shouldn't have been. You were right, what I did was stupid, and it was you not being there, that made me realise that I'd been chasing after the wrong thing. You were right, you have been right here this whole time, and you are more than my partner-" she pauses, taking a deep breath.

"I love you Rick"

He smiles so genuinely it reaches his eyes and as she looks into them she can see the array of emotions clearly; happiness, relief, excitement. She smiles back and he pulls her close, breathing in the cherry scent of her hair.

"Say it again" he whispers, and she laughs.

"I love you" she whispers, kissing his lips gently.

She's surprised by how much she loves the sound of her voice saying those three words to him. For as long as she could remember she'd protected herself with that wall, afraid to let people in. But he had come charging at her, armed with a smirk, sense of humour and unwavering loyalty and if she was being honest with herself, that wall had not stood a chance against Richard Castle. She snuggles up closer to him, as he runs his fingers along her bare back.

"How about some breakfast?" he asks, clearly coming to terms with the fact that unfortunately they cannot stay in bed forever, as much as they both want to. Kate realises that she can't recall the last time she ate, and as he mentions breakfast she's suddenly starving.

"Mmm sounds good" she murmurs, lips pressed to his side.

"Any preference, Detective?" he asks her, clearly distracted by her fingers running themselves slowly down his abdomen. She tenses slightly at the use of the word 'detective' but decides that it can wait, that now is not the time to tell him about her quitting her job. Not while they're both so content and happy. If he notices her hesitation, he doesn't let it show.

"Pancakes" she replies, her fingers now stroking his thigh.

"Pancakes?" he raises his eyebrows "You remember Esposito said that's the edible way of saying thank you for last night?"

"I know Castle" she replies smirking. "A perfect way to show my.. .appreciation"

She rolls off the bed, swiftly putting on her underwear. Castle gives her a look of mock disappointment before putting on his boxers and handing her one of his shirts from his wardrobe. She grins at him before slipping it over her head, and walking towards the kitchen. He follows her.

"Trust me Beckett; no one could appreciate last night more than me"

**A/N: Hope you guys liked it, please review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, alerts etc! Hope you like the chapter, and please let me know what you think! :)**

He positively revels at the sight of her in his kitchen, wearing his shirt. He's almost certain it's written all over his face but he doesn't really give a damn, finding he's way too happy to care. She seems happy too he's pleased to notice, as she busies herself grabbing ingredients to make the food with. He raises an eyebrow at her, his gaze steady. At first she smiles, but he holds it until she frowns, confused.

"What?" she asks him, eyebrows knitted together, her eyes searching. He smiles, thinking how adorable she looks, though the thought is nothing new. He has some form of positive adjective for pretty much every expression she has ever offered him. Even her anger he can't help but find sexy.

"How exactly do you know where all that stuff is without asking me?" he leans over the table towards her, arms crossed, playfully interrogating her. She laughs and leans over the other side so their faces are close. Teasingly close.

"I have stayed here before Castle, and made you breakfast" she kisses him softly, before moving away. He remembered loving the domesticity of the scene back then as well.

"Plus I am a detective remember? Kind of my job to notice things"

He notices how her stance changes, the way her words trail off towards the end of the sentence. Castle had always been observant, he prided himself on it, it was his attention to detail that made him a good writer; but he was particularly observant when it came to Kate Beckett. Despite knowing that she had found it incredibly annoying at first, he now likes to think she's learnt to find it endearing. Deciding that her hesitation was not obvious enough to comment on, he opens his mouth to speak, about to change the subject when she suddenly turns away from him. As she concentrates intently on stirring the mixture, he wonders if it's an effort to prevent her face from betraying her thoughts to him. If he wasn't 100% sure there was something wrong before, he definitely was now. He fights the urge to question her for only a moment before he gives in.

"Speaking of your job, how exactly did Gates react to what happened yesterday?" he asks her, adding an air of nonchalance into his voice, trying his best not to push her. He really hopes that she decides to let him in on whatever it is that's evidently bothering her. Secrets haven't gotten them anywhere these past few months and it could only be described as tragic to ruin things between them before they've even properly started. She does not turn to face him, but she straightens up and he hears her intake of breath.

"She suspended me and Espo" He watches her as she stirs the mixture furiously, waiting patiently for her to continue. "And then I told her to keep my badge and that I quit" she shrugs, trying play down the significance of the situation when really, he knows it's one of the most important decisions she's made in a long time. He tries to keep his expression as neutral as possible, but the unexpectedness of her resignation has taken him by surprise. Being a detective has become a part of Kate, a part he finds hard to remove. Knowing how important the job is to her, he wonders what could have caused her to come to such an extreme decision.

Although she's probably curious about his reaction, she hasn't turned around to confirm any of her suspicions. For some reason she seems nervous, holding the bowl in one hand, running her hand through her hair with the other. He's been so tangled up in his thoughts he hasn't said anything in response to her confession and suddenly the silence seems intense. Running through his head possible options of things to say turns out to be a useless exercise, he dismisses all of them almost instantly. Instead he settles on coming up behind her, placing his hands on top of hers, stopping her from moving. She sighs in response, but he continues, removing the bowl from her hands and placing it on the counter before swivelling her around to face him, his hands firm on her waist. He studies her for a moment, but her face offers no answers to his unspoken questions. His only remaining option is to ask her outright instead.

"Why did you do that?" his voice is soft, curious. She looks at him, slightly surprised, as if she was expecting a different reaction and he wonders what it was she was anticipating. Anger? Disappointment? Happiness? They all seem like very possible reactions to such news but none of them apply in this case. He only feels an intense need to understand why. His gaze must have communicated at least some of his thoughts to her because she nods slightly, opens her mouth to speak.

"As long as I am a detective I will be looking for answers. Answers that could ultimately get me killed and I want more than that, you know? I feel like I lost myself in this mission to find my mom's killer and I don't want that to be the only thing that defines me anymore, I want to be more than that Castle. I want to rediscover who I am without that constant barrier and I wanna figure it out with you" she looks up at him, her eyes damp and uncertain. Her explanation brings on a rush of feelings but the one that Castle finds most prominent is pride. He's proud of her for finally recognising that her life should not only revolve around her past, but her future too.

Smiling, he kisses her forehead "You don't need to be more than who you are Kate, but if that's what you want, I'm here. And I'll support anything you decide" She leans into his chest, as his arms tighten around her.

"So you're not disappointed?" she mumbles.

"Of course not, why would I be?" he asks her, his voice full of confusion.

"Because of the books, and shadowing me? I don't know Castle; you might need to find someone else now or something"

He's shocked that she would think that was even an option for him. The thought of shadowing someone else is just completely _wrong_. He takes her by the shoulders, distancing her from him, so he can look at her seriously.

"Are you kidding me? It's not been about the books for a while Kate. And we're partners now, whether you're a detective or not, that's not going to change" he's glad to see she looks reassured by his words. "And look on the bright side, we don't have to do paperwork anymore"

"We?" she hits him playfully, "Castle you never do paperwork!" he laughs, rubbing his chest where she smacked him, pouting slightly. She smiles wider in response, shaking her head.

"I can think of a better bright side to the situation than that" she says, inching closer to him. He looks at her expectantly.

"Oh yeah Beckett, and what's that?" he asks. He can hear the lust in his voice, despite his best efforts to contain it. Without consciously deciding to, he feels himself pushing her against the counter, his body pressed against hers.

"We have loads more free time to do _whatever_ we want" her voice is low and sexy, and she stresses the 'whatever' in such a way that has Castle's heart racing in response.

"And you have something in mind?" he whispers into her ear as he leans his head down towards hers.

"Mmm definitely" she whispers back as she lifts her head up meet him, their mouths locking together, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck. "I would love to- " she breathes the words against his lips, and he pulls her tighter.

"You'd love to what?" he asks, not even attempting to hide the desperation now. Her arms are no longer around his neck, they're now sliding down his arms. She presses against him to reach around him, and then suddenly there is a bowl between them, creating far too much distance for his liking.

"I'd love to finish these pancakes Castle, I'm starving" she smirks, before heading towards the cupboard in search of a pan, turning round just once to enjoy his sullen expression.


	4. Chapter 4

She thought it would be difficult adjusting to a relationship where for once it was not about convenience or a desperate, overwhelming need for company; where this time, she's not just involved with someone to avoid spending her nights alone. But Kate finds it isn't hard for her at all, in fact she hasn't felt this happy in a long time. Because on this occasion, unlike all of her previous relationships; she is absolutely head over heels in love with Richard Castle. She still half expects the fear that used to overcome her when she first began realising her feelings for him, but there is no trace of it anymore. The knowledge no longer scares her, instead it has the opposite effect, she welcomes it.

The thought encourages her to snuggle closer to him, his body soft and warm against hers. In response he tightens the arm he has wrapped around her, but his eyes are fixed on the screen in front of them, completely engrossed in the film Kate is barely paying attention to. A blood curdling scream fills the apartment, causing him to jump, jolting her slightly, his hand subconsciously tightening around her arm. Kate laughs, raising her head to look at him, unable to contain her smirk.

"What? It was scary!" he mumbles defensively.

She nods understandingly, leaning up to press her lips to his.

"Mhhmm, terrifying" she murmurs, their mouths inches apart, so she can still feel his breath hot and heavy against her skin.

"You would have jumped too if you were watching it" he tells her, and she is vaguely surprised and slightly disappointed by the self- control he shows as he reaches for the remote to pause the film rather than continuing to kiss her.

"What's on your mind?" he asks, pulling her onto his lap so they're facing each other. He looks at her, eyes warm, encouraging her to tell him her thoughts. She doesn't hesitate, placing a hand on his cheek, stroking softly with her thumb.

"I'm just thinking how happy this makes me. You make me." She tells him truthfully, causing him to grin in response. She bites her lip to hide her smile "Don't let it inflate your already oversized ego Castle"

"Wouldn't dream of it" Clearly satisfied that her absence of attention was due to good thoughts and not something he should be worried about, he swiftly turns his attention back to kissing her, a decision that Kate welcomes wholeheartedly. After a few minutes they break apart, breathless, their foreheads resting gently against each other.

"I really should go home" she whispers, not bothering to hide the disappointment in her voice. "Just because I should doesn't mean I want to" she adds in reaction to his dejected expression.

"Then don't go" he practically whines.

"I have to, at the very least to get more clothes-" she's not completely sure he's listening to her, he seems way too preoccupied trying to kiss her, his hands trailing down her body in a way that almost convinces her to stay. She grabs his hands, stilling them. "-and I need to go _now_ Castle before you change my mind" she tries to sound stern but it just comes out feeble.

"I'll come with you" he says decidedly. She notes the concern in his eyes and despite having little to no motivation to leave the warm bubble of his apartment without him; she decides that it's probably best she goes alone. For her own sake, as well as his. She thinks Castle knows what she's about to suggest because his body stiffens, almost as if he's readying himself to argue. She looks at him, hoping he doesn't try to disagree, knowing that in this instance, her decision is best for both of them. They can't be together all the time, and he needs to learn not to worry whenever he's not with her. He needs to see that she can return all in one piece, without having spent the day chasing hit men and hanging off a building. Kate walks over to him, placing a hand on his chest.

"Nuh uh Rick, you stay here. Finish the movie, I won't be long" she leans in, kissing him long and hard, trying to make him forget any thoughts bothering him.

"But Kate-" he murmurs against her lips. She presses her fingers lightly against his mouth.

"Please Rick" her eyes plead with him to trust her. Much to her relief he nods, squeezes her shoulders, kisses her and then lets her go.

"I'll see you soon" she tells him as she grabs her jacket, phone and keys, heading towards the door.

"See you soon" he calls back, playing the film again. She doesn't know if his acceptance is genuine or for her benefit but she's glad he's making this easy for her either way.

The cool air is refreshing as she steps outside; she's not used to staying inside for such long periods of time. Kate lingers for a moment, breathing deeply, watching the cars race through puddles, the sky darkening as it heads from evening to night. It scares her that if things had gone differently with Maddox, she would not be here right now. That the temporary separation her and Castle were so reluctant to accept would be permanent instead. The thought makes her want to run back inside, but instead she forces herself away from the apartment, towards the cab waiting further up. She tells the driver her address, resisting the urge to add 'as quick as you can'.

When she arrives, she wastes no time, changing her outfit quickly before grabbing clothes, underwear, toiletries and chucking them unceremoniously into a bag. She's heading towards the door, ready to leave when she sees the bag she packed the day before on the couch. She walks over to it, picking up the sign that usually sits on her desk; running her thumb over the engraving 'Det. Beckett '. The events of yesterday feel like a blur to her now, and she hasn't had a chance to analyse whether or not her angry and emotion fuelled resignation was a good decision. Placing the sign back in the bag, she decides it is best not to go there right now, there would be plenty of time to think about it later.

It is when she's walking towards the door again that she suddenly gets the feeling that someone is watching her. Kate reaches for the gun that isn't there, and shakes her head angrily in response to the action. Scanning her apartment swiftly, listening out, she sees and hears nothing. Since she left Castle she had been overanalysing everything far too much, and this was probably the result of that, she had sent herself to the point of paranoia. Ridiculous. She leaves the apartment quickly, ignoring the feeling that stays with her until she reaches the cab.

When Castle opens the door in response to her knocks she drops the bag, throwing her arms around him as she kisses him. He chuckles as they break away, both breathing hard.

"Is this gonna happen every time I open the door to you because I could definitely get used to it" he says, amused. She smirks.

"I missed you"

"You were gone for an hour, hour and a half tops and you missed me?"

"Are you saying you didn't miss me too Castle?" she raises an eyebrow at him, eyes narrowing.

"Of course I did, but I used the time constructively" she throws him a questioning look, and he comes behind her to shut the door before grabbing her hand, leading her towards his study. He gestures proudly at the laptop.

"Oh you've been writing?" she asks enthusiastically.

"Yeah well you're very inspiring" he tells her playfully, "apparently even more so when you're naked"

"Oh really Castle?" she murmurs as she runs her finger down her top, undoing the first few buttons slowly, revealing a hint of lace from her bra.

"Yeah" he whispers.

"Well in that case, we wouldn't want your fans to be disappointed, would we?" she pops another button.

"Nuh uh" he is becoming obviously flustered and she resists the urge to laugh.

"So it's only fair I do my best to provide you with as much inspiration as possible" she hooks a finger around the belt loop on his jeans, pulling him towards her. "Don't you think?"

"Definitely" he kisses her, short and hard, filled with want. She knows that they're not going to make it to the bed and he seems to be thinking the same thing as he grabs her waist, directing her towards the couch. She falls back onto it as he leans above her. "Best muse ever" he whispers, his voice low and rough.

"Don't you forget it Castle"

**A/N: Thanks for reading and please review! :)**


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